Цитаты из фильмов
Собрание цитат из наиболее популярных фильмов. Самые известные цитаты.
Sheldon: Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch
Sheldon: Oh, well, this would be one of those circumstances that people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence.
Leonard: [
discussing Sheldon's work] At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions to get the math to work.
Sheldon: I didn't invent them. They're there.
Leonard: Yeah? In what universe?
Sheldon: In all of them, that's the point!
Leonard: Why did you just flash freeze a banana?
Leslie: I'm having it with my cereal and I couldn't find a knife.
Sheldon: [
to engineers] Hello, Oompa Loompas of science!
Leonard: You wanna talk about not getting love from a parent, you know what I used to do when I was little to have some sensation of human contact?
Penny: Yeah you grabbed your penis and wouldn't let go.
Penny: ...Your mother told me.
Leonard: Course she did. Anyway that's not what I was gonna say. When I was 10 years old, I built a hugging machine.
Penny: A hugging machine?
Leonard: Yeah, I got a dressmakers mannequin, I stuffed it with an electric blanket so it would be warm and I built two radio-controlled arms that would hug me and pat my back.
Penny: That is so sad.
Leonard: You know what the saddest part was?
Penny: What?
Leonard: My father used to borrow it.
Sheldon: I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Leslie: [
sarcastically] Ouch!
Howard Wolowitz: [
interpreting Raj's whisper] Oh, he was just comparing Sheldon to a feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.
Penny: And the bag it came in.
[repeated line when someone accuses Sheldon of being crazy]
Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested!
[repeated line when Sheldon knocks on Penny's door]
Sheldon: [Knock-knock-knock] Penny!
Sheldon: [Knock-knock-knock] Penny!
Sheldon: [Knock-knock-knock] Penny!
[repeated line when Sheldon tells a sarcastic joke]
Sheldon: Bazinga!
Penny: So, what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-Men?
Sheldon: No. The X-Men were named after the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men.
Howard Wolowitz: [as Sheldon walks away] Oh, that's not a good name.
Sheldon: You're not done with her, are you?
Leonard Hofstadter: Our babies are gonna be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Penny: Look, Sheldon's hugging me!
Leonard Hofstadter: It's a Saturnalia miracle!
Leonard Hofstadter:
[repeated line whenever Sheldon is about to begin a long rant] Here we go.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Leonard: I did a bad thing.
Sheldon: Does it affect me?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.
Sheldon: I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22nd, 2007. Two days later, Penny moved in and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.
Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal, which brought you 5,000 years into the future, where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back, to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we are transported to work at the think-a-torium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Awww.
Leonard: Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Who would ever guess that?
Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: "Not knowing is part of the fun." Was that the motto of your community college?
Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
Sheldon: This is Leonard. He's your best friend in the world.
Leonard: All right, just stop. This is ridiculous.
Sheldon: Sometimes he gets cranky, but you can trust him with your life. And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list.
Leonard: Thank you.
Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
Текст песни из сериала «Теория большого взрыва»
[
singing opening title theme]
Ed Robertson: Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state / Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started - Wait! / The Earth began to cool / The autotrophs began to drool / Neanderthals developed tools / We built the Wall
Rest of Barenaked Ladies: We built the pyramids
Ed Robertson, Rest of Barenaked Ladies: Math, Science, History / Unraveling the mystery / That all started with a big
Ed Robertson: bang.
Rest of Barenaked Ladies: Bang!
Mattie Ross: You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free except the grace of God.
Rooster Cogburn: That didn't pan out.
Rooster Cogburn: That Chinamen is running them cheap shells on me again.
LaBoeuf: I thought you gonna say the sun was in your eyes. That is to say, your Eye!
Rooster Cogburn: We'll sleep here and follow in the morning.
Mattie Ross: But we promised to bury the poor soul inside!
Rooster Cogburn: Ground's too hard. Them men wanted a decent burial, they should have got themselves killed in summer.
Lucky Ned Pepper: What is your intention Rooster? You think one on four is a dogfall?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which will you have?
Lucky Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hand you son-of-a-bitch!
LaBoeuf: You give out very little sugar with your pronouncements. While I sat there watchin' I gave some thought to stealin' a kiss... though you are very young, and sick... and unattractive to boot. But now I have a mind to give you five or six good licks with my belt.
Mattie Ross: One would be just as unpleasant as the other
Rooster Cogburn: [
outside the cabin] Who is in there?
Emmett Quincy: [
from inside the cabin] A Methodist and a son of a bitch!
LaBoeuf: I've just come from Yell County.
Mattie Ross: We have no rodeo clowns in Yell County.
LaBoeuf: A saucy line will not get you far with me.
Cross-examining Lawyer: So, you say that when Amos Wharton raised his axe, you backed away from him.
Rooster Cogburn: That's right.
Cross-examining Lawyer: In what direction were you going?
Rooster Cogburn: Backwards. I always go backwards when I back up.
Rooster Cogburn: Is that him?
Mattie Ross: I believe not.
Rooster Cogburn: Oh, cut him down.
Mattie Ross: [
incredulous] Why?
Rooster Cogburn: I might know him.
Mattie Ross: I guess I have a $10 horse. Tell Col. Stonehill I said 'Thank you'.
Stableboy: No ma'am. He said he don't never want to hear your name again!
Rooster Cogburn: You go for a man hard enough and fast enough, he don't have time to think about how many's with him; he thinks about himself, and how he might get clear of that wrath that's about to set down on him
Mattie Ross: Do you need a good lawyer?
Lucky Ned Pepper: I need a good judge...
Undertaker: If you would like to sleep in a coffin, it would be all right.
Mattie Ross: If I had killed Chaney, I would not be in this fix; but my gun misfired.
Lucky Ned Pepper: [
Chuckling] They will do it. It will embarrass you every time. Most girls like to play pretties, but you like guns do you?
Mattie Ross: I do not care a thing about guns, if I did, I would have one that worked.
Rooster Cogburn: [
looks up at the hanging corpse] Is it Cheney?
Mattie Ross: I would not recognize the soles of his feet.
Rooster Cogburn: Well, you'll have to clamber up and look. I'm too old and too fat.
Mattie Ross: [
cutting the rope on the tree] Why did they hang him so high?
Rooster Cogburn: I do not know. Possibly in the belief it'd make him more dead.
Mattie Ross: [
LaBoeuf is whipping her] Are you going to let him do this, Marshal?
Rooster Cogburn: [
watches for a moment] No, I don't believe I will. Put your switch away, LaBoeuf.
LaBoeuf: I aim to finish what I started!
Rooster Cogburn: It'll be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush-popper.
[
aims gun at LaBoeuf]
Mattie Ross: And "futile", Marshal Cogburn, "pursuit would be futile"? It's not spelled "f-u-d-e-l."
Rooster Cogburn: The jakes is occupied.
Mattie Ross: I know it is occupied Mr. Cogburn. As I said, I have business with you.
Rooster Cogburn: I have prior business.
Mattie Ross: You have been at it for quite some time, Mr. Cogburn.
Rooster Cogburn: There is no clock on my business! To hell with you! To hell with you! How did you stalk me here?
Mattie Ross: The sheriff told me to look in the saloon. In the saloon they referred me here. We must talk.
Rooster Cogburn: Women ain't allowed in the saloon!
Mattie Ross: I was not there as a customer. I am fourteen years old.
Rooster Cogburn: The jakes is occupied. And will be for some time.
Cross-examining Lawyer: Mister Cogburn, in your four years as US Marshal, how many men have you shot?
Rooster Cogburn: Shot? Or killed?
Cross-examining Lawyer: Let us restrict it to killed so we may have a manageable figure!
Col. Stonehill: I do not entertain hypotheticals. The world itself is vexing enough.
LaBoeuf: You are getting ready to show your ignorance now, Cogburn. I don't mind a little personal chaffing but I won't hear anything against the Ranger troop from a man like you.L
Rooster Cogburn: How long have you boys been mounted on sheep down there?
LaBoeuf: My shaggy horse will be galloping when that big American stud of yours is winded and collapsed. Now make another joke about it. You are only trying to put on a show for this girl Mattie with what you must think is a keen tongue.
Rooster Cogburn: This is like women talking.
LaBoeuf: Yes, that is the way! Make me out foolish in this girl's eyes.
Rooster Cogburn: I think she has got you pretty well figured.
Rooster Cogburn: [
after singing for a long time] That was "Johnny in the Low Ground." There are very few fiddle tunes I have not heard. Once heard they are locked in my mind forever. It is a sadness to me that I have sausage fingers that cannot crowd onto a fretboard... Little fat girls at a cotillion. "Soldier's Joy"!
[
sings more]
LaBoeuf: [
to Mattie] I don't believe he slept.
First Lawyer: Mr. Cogburn, did you find a bottle with a hundred and twenty-five dollars in it?
Cross-examining Lawyer: Objection your Honor, Leading
Judge Parker: Sustained. Rephrase the question.
First Lawyer: What happened then?
Rooster Cogburn: [
slightly annoyed] I found a bottle with a hundred and twenty-five dollars in it.
Rooster Cogburn: [
LaBoeuf has been talking about malum prohibitum and malum in se] It astonishes me that Mr. LaBoeuf has been shot, trampled, and nearly bitten his tongue off, and yet not only does he continue to talk but he spills the banks of English.
Rooster Cogburn: I do not know this man.
[
в участке]
Милиционер: Фамилия.
Данила Багров: Багров. Данила Сергеич. 75-го года рождения, Вокзальная 22.
Милиционер: Место работы.
Данила Багров: Дембель не отгулял еще.
Милиционер: Где служил?
Данила Багров: В армии.
Милиционер: Пойдешь к нам?
Данила Багров: Нет.
Круглый: Кто в Москве не бывал — красоты не видал.
Круглый: Борзеет татарин. Вперед много взял. День и ночь торчите на рынке, на глаза ему не попадайтесь. Бери ношу по себе, чтоб не падать при ходьбе.
Бандит: Ну что, синяки, торгуем? [
подходит к Немцу] Часы у тебя?
Немец: Аха.
Бандит: Ну что, по полтинничку теперь. С тебя, гнида синяя, с тебя. А ты как думал? Налоги...
Немец: Я же еще ничего... Я же еще ничего не продал!
Бандит: Товар конфискую.
Немец: Хм. Город? Город — страшная сила. А чем больше город, тем он сильнее. Он засасывает. Только сильный может выкарабкаться. Да и то...
Данила Багров: Тебя как звать-то?
Немец: Гофман.
Данила Багров: Еврей что ли?
Немец: Немец...
Данила Багров: А, а то я евреев как-то не очень.
Немец: А немцев?
Данила Багров: Немцев — нормально.
Немец: А в чем разница?
Данила Багров: Ну че ты пристал?
[
в трамвае]
Контроллер: Билеты, пожалуйста.
Кавказец: Нэт билэт.
Контроллер: Билеты, пожалуйста.
Кавказец: Нэ-эт билэт.
Контроллер: Ваши билеты, пожалуйста.
Кавказец: Слущай, ты нерюсский что ли? Я тибэ по-русски говорю: нэ-эт билэт.
Контроллер: Штраф, пожалуйста, платите.
Кавказец: Какой штраф, слущай? Я — инвалыд.
Контроллер: Штраф, платите или показывайте билеты.
Кавказец: Э-э, садысь, слущай. В ногах правды нэт. Садысь, садысь, садысь.
Контроллер: Но если нет билетов, надо штраф платить.
Кавказец: Слущай, ты не понимаэшь что ли?!
[
подходит Данила Багров с револьвером в руке]
Данила Багров: Заплати штраф.
[
оба кавказца опускаются на колени]
Кавказец: Брат, не убивай, брат. Дэньги возьми, все возьми. Слущай, не убивай, брат.
Данила Багров: Не брат ты мне, гнида черножопая. [
берет бумажник, обращаясь к контроллеру] Сколько за штраф?
Контроллер: Семь.
[
Данила Багров вынимает нужную сумму из бумажника кавказцев, роняет его на пол]
Данила Багров: Бежать.
Кэт: Хай. Ух ты, плеер такой классный! Дай послушать. [
слушает]. А чего туфту такую гоняешь? Нормальное есть что-нибудь? Ты че, немой?
Данила Багров: [улыбается] Нет.
Кэт: Плеер такой реальный, а одет как обсос. Кислота есть? А башня, башня есть?
Данила Багров: [улыбается] Нет.
Кэт: Ну, ладно. Я — Кэт. Здесь меня всегда найдешь. Будут деньги, приходи, оттопыримся. Ну, все, пока.
[
Данила Багров звонит в дверь]
Виктор Багров: [
из-за двери] Открыто!
[
Данила Багров входит в квартиру. К его голове приставляют пистолет.]
Виктор Багров: На колени. Руки вперед.
Данила Багров: Я брата ищу. Багров Виктор. Он жил здесь. Я — брат его младший, только 2 дня в Ленинграде. Мне мать его адрес дала: Мойка 1, квартира 8.
Виктор Багров: [
убирая пистолет и позволяя Даниле обернуться] Ну, здравствуй... брат.
[
Виктор Багров отсчитывает деньги]
Виктор Багров: Вот тебе на первое время. Оденься поприличнее. Сними квартиру или комнату. Не дороже сотки пока, а там посмотрим. Как в армии-то?
Данила Багров: Нормально.
Виктор Багров: Мать писала: на войне был.
Данила Багров: [
смущаясь] Да не, в штабе там отсиделся. Писарем.
Виктор Багров: А стрелять-то умеешь?
Данила Багров: Водили на стрельбище.
