Dr. Wilson: Wait, your 2 o'clock or my 2 o'clock?
Dr. Gregory House: Over there!
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] You need a lawyer.
Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies.
Dr. Gregory House: We're missing something.
Dr. Gregory House: [to Cuddy] Relax, I have just the thing to cheer you up... we're being sued!
Dr. Wilson: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Eric Foreman: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Allison Cameron: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Robert Chase: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Thirteen: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Chris Taub: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: Maybe it's Auto Immune...
Dr. Gregory House: If someone says Auto Immune, you're fired!
Dr. Gregory House: The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth...
Dr. Wilson: They were Prada, meaning she has a good taste
Dr. Gregory House: They were not Prada. You wouldn't know Prada even if one stepped on your scrotum.
Dr. Wilson: Okay... Well they were nice... And pointy.
Dr. Gregory House: Exactly. They were stylish. And very painful to wear. Only an incredibly shallow, insecure woman would be in pain all day long, rather than to wear a decent looking comfourtable shoe and that's exactly the type I don't need around here.
Dr. Gregory House: I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do.
Dr. Gregory House: I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask.
Dr. Gregory House: I was never that great at math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?
Dr. Gregory House: We treat it. If she[he] gets better we know that we're right.
Dr. Gregory House: Patients always want proof, we're not making cars here, we don't give guarantees.
Dr. Gregory House: Tests take time. Treatment's quicker.
Dr. Gregory House: Pretty much all the drugs I prescribe are addictive and dangerous.
Dr. Gregory House: Patients sometimes get better. You have no idea why, but unless you give a reason they won't pay you. Anybody notice if there's a full moon? ... let's rule out the lunar god and go from there.
Dr. Gregory House: I take risks, sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math.
Dr. Gregory House: Never trust doctors.
Dr. Gregory House: If he gets better, I'm right, if he dies, you're right.
Dr. Gregory House: Tragedies happen.
Dr. Gregory House: In case I'm wrong. It has happened.
Dr. Gregory House: It does tell us something. Though I have no idea what.
Dr. Gregory House: You know what's worse than useless? Useless and oblivious.
Dr. Gregory House: Tell a surgeon it's okay to cut a leg off and he's going to spend the night polishing his good hacksaw.... they care about their patients. They just care about themselves more. Which is not an unreasonable position. Trying to maximize the tissue you save also maximizes the chances of something going wrong. Which means you've gotta be extra careful. Which is such a pain in the ass.
Dr. Gregory House: If it works, we're right. If he dies, it was something else.
Dr. Gregory House: If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin.
Dr. Gregory House: Welcome to the end of the thought process.
Dr. Gregory House: Sometimes we can't see why normal isn't normal.
Dr. Gregory House: You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right.
Dr. Gregory House: New is good. Because old ended in death.
Dr. Gregory House: I don't care much for apologies.
Dr. Gregory House: I was wrong.
Dr. Gregory House: I was right.
Dr. Gregory House: There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is --- in fact --- a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate.
Dr. Gregory House: The most successful marriages are based on lies.
Dr. Gregory House: All of those clever reasons were wrong.
Dr. Gregory House: And humility is an important quality. Especially if you're wrong a lot.... Of course, when you're right, self-doubt doesn't help anybody, does it?
Dr. Gregory House: Read less, more TV.
Dr. Gregory House: There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function.
Dr. Gregory House: If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything.
Dr. Gregory House: The only problem with that theory is it's based on the assumption that the universe is a just place.
Dr. Gregory House: Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite.
Dr. Gregory House: Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause!
Dr. Gregory House: If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic.
